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From the Pastor...
November 2006
On coping with change
Change is hard. Most of us like to be comfortable. We like to be familiar with our surroundings. Change often disturbs our comfort.
In a world which is full of change, we often prize the familiar.
Many turn to the church as a place of refuge from change. The words of the second verse of the hymn, "Abide with me" are both an expression of faith
and a cry for God to be the constant in our lives in the face of change:
"Change and decay in all around I see:
O Thou Who changest not, abide with me."
Yet it remains true that while we live and travel here on earth, change is also a constant part of life. Most of us living here today have witnessed
incredible changes in our lifetimes. The pace of change in the past ten years has picked up, and shows no sign of slowing. Many who have arrived in
our midst from other parts of the world have experienced almost a total change -- in geography, language, culture, work, relationships -- the list
is endless. Technology has re-ordered the landscape in our offices, our schools, and our homes. We communicate in ways that were impossible only a
few short years ago. The speed of these continuing changes can take our breath away.
With age, change accelerates, and our inclination to resist intensifies. We fear the consequences of change, even when we reluctantly accept that
change is necessary. Giving up the maintenance of a house for the ease of an assisted-living residence may make sense, but usually only after it
becomes impossible to maintain the house. Allowing someone -- someone different -- to share personal "space" involves change that most rightly
see as a threat to independence, even as it may become a necessity for safety.
We struggle to keep up. We wish that the design of this month's bank statement or utility bill would be the same as last month's, so that we
wouldn't have to guess where to find the basic information about our account. Amid our frustration of having another telephone call blocked,
we long for the simplicity of seven-digit dialing.
Against the sea of change, we often wrestle hard. We long for the familiar. If only things would stay the same ...
In the face of change, some people get angry, and may lash out, demanding that somebody do something to keep things the same or make things "right".
In our confusion, we often ask for help from someone who is not able to come to our aid. I have lost track of the number of times that I have stopped
to ask directions in a strange city, only to find out that the person whom I have asked is either a stranger too, or has no idea (or the wrong idea)
of how I might get from where I am to where I want to go. Frustration mounts. The more the surroundings are unfamiliar, the more distressed we can
become.
There is, though, a successful strategy for managing change, and maintaining our peace.
Job, when suffering through catastrophic changes including the loss of family, health, and business, once questioned whether he could change -- or whether
there was value or point to his changing.
Job 9: 27-28 - If I say, 'I will forget my complaint, I will change my expression, and smile,' I still dread all my sufferings.
Job questions the point of looking at things from a different perspective. His suffering -- grief at the loss of family and pain in his disease -- is
real, and constant. He really finds it hard to consider that he might smile.
Yet amid his questioning, he gives us a key clue to managing change: "If I say, 'I will forget my complaint, and change my expression, and smile.'" Job
dares to think that he might change -- yes, that he might change. He might change. Now he wasn't ready to change, yet, and he didn't,
right away, but by the end of the book that bears his name, he has accepted that God has orchestrated the changes in his circumstances and that God will
direct his future wisely and well -- come what may. Along the way, Job's heart has changed, and he has come to accept the huge changes in his life's
situation.
Jesus told his followers -- including his closest disciples -- that change was necessary. The kind of change that he had in mind was inner change. The
disciples were preoccupied with outward circumstances, and social relationships, and who would get pride of place.
Matthew 18: 1-3 - At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child and
had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Jesus tells us that radical change -- in our hearts -- is part of the secret to our very satisfying relationship with God and his people.
The words in a contemporary chorus resonate with the truth of the Spirit of God, speaking through the Scriptures:
Change my heart, O God, make it ever new.
Change my heart, O God; may I be like You.
God is indeed the One who is unchanging, and he will indeed abide with us. He calls us to abide with him, and to allow him to change our hearts, even and
especially as our surroundings change.
It is right for us to sing, and pray, "O Thou Who changest not, abide with me." It is also right for us to sing, and pray, "Change my heart, O God, make
it ever new."
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